Composure in Motion: Choosing Calm Over Chaos

Words shape wellness. This is your space to speak calm into your day and anchor your mind in positive truth. Through simple affirmations and moments of still reflection, we practice reshaping our inner dialogue, one gentle statement at a time.

Learning to regulate emotions, especially at work, by finding strength in restraint and clarity in calm.

Reflective Note

This story speaks to the quiet discipline of emotional control, the kind that doesn’t silence you, but steadies you.
If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, provoked, or tested at work, you’re not alone. Many of us carry old wounds into new spaces, unaware that our reactions are often echoes of earlier pain.

As you read, take a slow breath. Let this story remind you that calm isn’t weakness, it’s clarity. It’s the moment you decide that your peace is more important than anyone’s chaos.

When I look back at my professional life, I realize how long it took me to learn the true meaning of calm.

I started working young, really young. My first job was as an instructional aide with the Los Angeles Urban League, Head Start Program. I wanted to work with children to protect them. After one year, my supervisor promoted me to a supervisor/teacher.

I still remember that moment so clearly. Instead of feeling proud, I cried. I told her, “I don’t want the job.”

She was strict, severe, and easily angered when someone made a mistake. Her energy reminded me so much of my aunt, the woman who raised me. That same tone. That same coldness, and because of that, I was afraid. I didn’t want to be disciplined. I didn’t want to be made to feel small again.

But she pulled me aside and said, “You can do this. I see something in you.”
That was the start of my leadership journey. I was twenty-three years old, young, driven, and still carrying a lot of unhealed pain.

Because of my past, I came into leadership with a defensive mindset. My attitude was simple: no one is going to talk to me like I'm crazy.
I wasn’t just protective of myself; I was protective of everyone I worked with. If I thought someone was being mistreated, I’d jump right in. I had what I call a freedom fighter spirit. I wanted fairness and justice for everyone.

The problem was, I didn’t understand the difference between passion and reaction.
I didn’t realize that as a leader, you can’t always bring your personal emotions into professional spaces. You have to be the example, and I didn’t learn that lesson until much later, fifty-two years old to be exact.

For years, if something triggered me at work or if something reminded me of a past hurt, I would lose composure. I’d shut down, stop talking, pull back, or get an attitude. I thought I was protecting myself, but I was really reacting to old pain.

The truth is, you can’t lead effectively when your triggers lead you, and I learned that the hard way.

People often say, “Don’t be emotional at work,” but I’ve come to understand that what they really mean is to manage your emotions. Because once people see emotion, they stop hearing your message. You could be right, your point could be valid, but if your tone or reaction is off, that’s all they’ll remember.

It took years of mistakes, misunderstandings, and reflection for me to recognize that pattern. A significant situation at work forced me to slow down and look at myself. Then, I had surgery on my foot and had to take three months off. That time away changed everything.

I had space to think, pray, and reflect. And what I realized was this: my job is not my identity. It’s something I do, not who I am.

When I returned, I had a different mindset. I started to see how much of the workplace is political, the personalities, the games, the hidden rules, and for years, I fought against that. I told myself, I don’t play games, but the truth is, corporate environments have their own culture, and sometimes you have to navigate it strategically, not emotionally.

I also learned something small but mighty: don’t make your workspace your home. We decorate our offices with personal touches like plants, family pictures, and knick-knacks, and before we know it, we start treating work like it’s part of our personal world. That makes it harder to separate who you are from what you do.

Now, I keep my space simple. It reminds me that work is just a place where I come to provide a service. When I leave, I leave it there. It took me fifty years to learn that lesson, but I finally got it. Healing played a big part in that. You can’t be a grounded leader if you haven’t dealt with your past. If you don’t know what triggers you, your reactions will keep writing your story for you.

Today, I lead with calm. I pause before I respond. I try to listen more than I speak, and I’ve learned that real strength isn’t in defending yourself all the time, it’s in knowing when you don’t have to.

“When I learned to stop reacting, I discovered how powerful silence can be.”

Leadership isn’t about being fearless; it’s about being self-aware. When we take the time to understand our triggers and separate who we are from what we do, we lead from peace instead of pain.

Calm doesn’t mean weak. It means steady. It means you trust yourself enough to respond instead of react, and that’s where composure becomes your strength.

Where story meets science, strength grows through understanding.

Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, and Work Teams: Linking Emotional Intelligence and Performance at Work
National Library of Medicine (Open Access)
This full-text article explores how emotional intelligence connects to leadership success, teamwork, and workplace balance. It’s a helpful read for understanding why managing emotions is key to leading effectively and maintaining harmony in professional environments.

How to Prevent Stress in the Workplace by Emotional Regulation? The Relationship Between Emotional Intelligence and Stress Management
SAGE Open Journal, 2022 (Open Access)
This research piece dives into real strategies for emotional regulation and stress prevention at work. It offers evidence-based insights on how awareness and restraint can reduce burnout and improve relationships in professional spaces.