Freedom Fighter (Reclaim): A Reflection on Peace, Patterns, and Personal Liberation

There was a time when I thought it was my job to fix everything. To fix the room, fix the meeting, fix the people. I became the one who stepped in, smoothed things over, stood in the gap, whether I was invited or not. I didn’t know I was doing it. I just knew chaos made me uneasy, and silence made me sprint toward solutions.

But behind all that helping… I was exhausted.

I carried this pattern into my friendships, my marriage, my family, and my work. I wore it like a badge of honor. I called it responsibility. I called it strength. I even called it leadership.

Until I gave it a name.

Freedom Fighter.

But not in the way most people think.

This wasn’t the kind of freedom fighter who marches in protest or leads a revolution. This was the kind of freedom fighter who tries to rescue everyone else, while losing themselves in the process. The one who absorbs everyone’s unspoken tension, manages emotions for others, and tries to solve problems that don’t belong to them.

And for years, I blamed people for stealing my peace. I blamed the chaos. I blamed the disorganization. I blamed the lack of support.

Until I realized: it wasn’t them.

It was me!

This wasn’t about their issues. It was about my unhealed patterns.

See, in my childhood, no one came. No one stepped in. No one smoothed things over. So I became the one who would always show up, for everyone else.

But I never learned how to show up for me.

And I didn’t realize that always stepping in… was also a way of disappearing.

Here’s the hard truth: when you’re the Freedom Fighter in every space, you eventually become the problem. The bad one. The over stepper. You get blamed for disrupting the peace,  even though you were the one trying to protect it.

This shows up everywhere: in workplaces, in relationships, in marriages. People get to sit back while you jump in. Then, when it all falls apart, you’re the one holding the blame.

So I reclaimed the name. I redefined it.

Freedom Fighter (Reclaim): The one who tries to rescue others so hard they forget to rescue themselves.

If that’s you, hear me clearly: it’s not your job to save everyone. Everyone is an adult. Everyone has the power to speak up for themselves. And when you stop stepping in, you give others the gift of growth.

Your job is not to sacrifice your peace to hold broken things together.

Your job is to honor your voice. To notice your patterns. To protect your breath.

Pause. Ask yourself:

• Am I solving… or avoiding?

• Am I helping… or disappearing?

You are not the solution to every storm. You deserve peace, too.

Dr. Cynthia Skyers-Gordon