When Love Wasn’t Enough

Presence turns moments into connection.

I was twenty-seven when I got married, but the truth is, I was still trying to figure out who I was.
Before that, I had been engaged once, young and hopeful, convinced that love alone could fill the empty places inside me. When that engagement ended, I carried the heartbreak quietly, believing that maybe I just wasn’t enough.

When I met my ex-husband, I wanted love to work more than I wanted to understand it. He was charming, attentive, and said all the things I had longed to hear. At the time, he was in the military, far from his family, often stationed in unfamiliar places, searching for something that would make him feel grounded and less alone. I, on the other hand, wanted a family because I was searching for love, for a sense of belonging, for something steady that could fill the emptiness I felt inside.

We were both looking for connection, just in different ways. He sought companionship to ease the distance from his world, and I yearned for a bond that would heal the distance within my heart. But when two people are trying to fill different voids, even love can start to feel like reaching for something that isn’t there.

We were together for twenty years, married for twenty-two, moving from state to state, building homes, raising children. On the outside, it looked like a life. But inside, I was exhausted. I was constantly trying to fix what was breaking, to make peace where trust had already been lost. The infidelity was relentless, and every betrayal reopened old wounds, the same wounds of not being protected, of not being chosen.

When I finally filed for divorce, it wasn’t out of anger. It was out of survival. I realized that staying meant losing myself completely. After the divorce, I started reading, journaling, and confronting my own patterns, the way I gave too much, loved too hard, and expected someone else to complete me.

What I learned was that love doesn’t heal what you refuse to face. And connection, authentic connection, can’t exist when you’re disconnected from yourself.

“Healing doesn’t mean you never loved them. It means you finally started loving yourself.”

I once thought love was something I had to earn. Now I know connection begins when you stop chasing and start becoming. It’s not about finding someone who completes you; it’s about becoming whole enough to meet someone as you are.

Content Note: This story includes themes of infidelity, emotional healing, and self-discovery.