Having a Void in Your Life and Not Knowing Why It Existed

Clarity begins when we pause long enough to see ourselves clearly. In this space, we turn inward, not for judgment, but for grace. Reflection brings alignment, and purity of thought brings peace. These moments guide you toward lightness and quiet understanding.

The Hidden Story Behind High Performance

Content Note

Every educator and leader carries a personal story beneath the surface.
As you read, consider the story you bring to the spaces where you lead and serve.

All my life, I was a worker and an achiever.
If there was a task in front of me, I completed it and then immediately chased another. From a little girl, people praised my ambition. They’d say, “You’re always aiming for the next goal,”. And I believed them. I thought ambition was what defined me.

As I got older, accomplishments became a way of life.
I opened a childcare center. I became a notary. I launched businesses. I earned a Bachelor’s, a Master’s, and a Doctorate, a résumé full of success, but a heart that still felt strangely… empty.

Everyone around me admired me. I smiled and thanked them, but inside, I wondered why none of it filled the silence I felt in my spirit.

I pushed harder. I worked more. I achieved the next big thing, and the next. Each time I thought:
This will be the moment I feel whole.
But the moment never came.

For decades, I could not explain what I was feeling. I would quietly ask others:
“Do you ever feel empty, like something is missing but you don’t know what it is?”
Most didn’t understand. Maybe I didn’t truly understand either.

It wasn’t until my fifties, through deep reflection and the birth of SILWELL-C, that the truth revealed itself:
The void I kept trying to fill was a lack of self-worth.

I kept believing that if I achieved more, became more, or earned more, then I would finally be worthy of myself.
But goals, titles, and applause can never define who we are. They are extensions of us, not the source of our value.

This self-recognition mirrors the psychological insight that the stories we tell about ourselves, our narrative identity, have a powerful impact on well-being; people who perceive agency in their lives (not just achievements), and find redeeming meaning in their struggles, tend to report greater life satisfaction. Psychology Today+1

I discovered that inner happiness isn’t earned,  it’s accepted. It’s nurtured. It’s claimed.

And once I understood that, everything changed.
I realized so many people are just like me, high-performing, admired, and yet silently aching, people who look successful on the outside but feel incomplete on the inside.

This is why I am passionate about SILWELL-C. Because every one of us deserves a life that feels whole,  even when the world is not watching. We deserve fulfillment that doesn’t fade when the applause stops.

In the language of storytelling frameworks, we each have a “story of self” (why I am on this path), a “story of us” (others who are feeling the same void), and a “story of now” (the urgent invitation to connect with our inner worth). The Commons+1

Inner happiness is not a goal; it’s a home we learn to return to.

Reflection for Readers

• Have you ever placed your worth in what you accomplish?

• Do you celebrate who you are even when you are not “achieving”?

• What small ways can you honor your happiness from the inside out?

Key Takeaway

You are worthy before the achievement.
You are enough without the title.
And peace begins the moment you choose yourself.

How This Story Connects to SILWELL-C

This story reminds us that every person,  every teacher, every leader, every staff member,  has an unseen emotional journey. SILWELL-C helps organizations honor those stories so people can find fulfillment not just in what they accomplish, but in who they are.

Organizational Reflection

• How might staff achievements be masking deeper needs?

• What systems are in place to support the person behind the role?

• Do leaders make space for staff to feel valued beyond performance?

Where story meets science, strength grows through understanding.

• Boardman, S. “Take Control of the Story You Tell About Yourself.” Psychology Today, April 3 2023. Psychology Today

• “The Power of Story: The Story of Self, Us and Now.” Commons Library / Leading Change Network. The Commons+2Playworks+2

• Grumet, J. M. “The Story You Tell Yourself: Why storytelling is the hidden bridge between meaning, purpose, and happiness.” Psychology Today, May 8 2025. Psychology Today