Voice from the Wounds: Leading Through Healing

Leadership begins with calm roots. Here, we explore how grounded intention shapes purposeful growth. These reflections and tools nurture the confidence to lead with steadiness, clarity, and a sense of inner balance, so your leadership feels both inspired and sustainable.

Finding your voice as a leader is born from pain, purpose, and wisdom.

Reflective Note- This story is about leading from your scars, not your status. It’s for anyone who’s ever doubted their voice but kept showing up anyway. Sometimes the best leaders are born from the wounds they’ve learned to heal.

I became a leader long before I realized I was one. Yes, I held titles like supervisor, director, education manager/Coordinator, and Vice Principal, but I didn’t see myself as a leader. I saw myself as someone just trying to help.

People often came to me for advice or guidance. They said I offered good suggestions and strong direction. But at the time, I couldn’t see it. I was still struggling, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and because I was struggling, I was determined that no one around me would ever have to feel the kind of pain I felt.

That’s where my leadership really began, not from ambition, but from empathy. I wanted to help others find the strength I had to build the hard way.

When I became a supervisor, I led with honesty and authenticity. I was compassionate but firm, empathetic but transparent. I tried to teach my staff that even when life hurts, you still have to keep going. The world doesn’t stop because you’re wounded. It keeps spinning. You can cry, you can scream, you can feel every bit of it, but when you’re done, you’ve got to get up and move.

That’s the truth I’ve learned through experience. Pain doesn’t excuse you from purpose; it shapes it.

For a long time, though, I didn’t see myself as a “leader.” I just saw myself as someone doing what needed to be done. But looking back, I realize I was leading through my wounds, leading through pain, trying to protect others from the same hurts that shaped me.

I’ve worked in education for over 35 years, and in all that time, I’ve only had one supervisor who truly saw something in me: Ms. Mary Idella Coleman from the Los Angeles Urban League Head Start. I still remember being twenty-three, scared and overwhelmed, telling her I didn’t want to be promoted because her tone and presence reminded me of my aunt, strict, intimidating, and powerful. But she saw something I didn’t see in myself.

She pushed me, not gently, not softly, but purposefully, and that push changed my life. She was the first person who treated me like I was capable of more.

It’s sad, really, because in all my years working across programs and organizations, she’s the only person who ever did that. I’ve never had a mentor. I’ve had to mentor myself, promote myself, and teach myself along the way. That’s why I pour everything I’ve learned into my staff. I want to give them what I never had: someone who believes in them, someone who teaches from both mistakes and wisdom.

Now, I’ll be honest, it doesn’t always come across perfectly.
I have a strong presence. Some people might call it intimidating; I call it passionate. I care deeply about the work, and that energy fills the room, but not everyone knows how to receive that. For some, strength feels like pressure. I’ve learned that my presence can make some people nervous, even when I’m not doing anything wrong.

So as a leader, I’m still learning balance. I’m learning that some people carry their own wounds, and sometimes, my strength reminds them of someone from their past, just like Ms. Coleman reminded me of mine.

Leadership is never about perfection. It’s about growth, for you and for the people you lead. I teach my staff and my students the same thing:
Take the lesson, not the offense. Don’t let your emotions block your learning.

People won’t consistently deliver their message in the way you want, but that doesn’t mean the message isn’t valuable.

“The world may not always hand you gentle teachers but if you listen closely, every experience still teaches.”

Today, I lead from a place of awareness. I know my strength. I know my triggers. I know my heart, and most of all, I know that leadership isn’t about titles, it’s about healing enough to help others grow through theirs.

“My voice as a leader was born from the very wounds I once tried to hide.”

Authentic leadership grows out of empathy, not ego. It’s built through trial, pain, and perseverance. When you’ve walked through the fire and still show up to light the way for others, that’s leadership.

If your voice trembles when you speak the truth, let it. It means you’re leading from a place that’s real.

Where story meets science, strength grows through understanding.

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